Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Made up facts about LEP members

In the month of November, we hosted a postcard swap. For this swap, we asked participants to choose a random postcard and make up a story about the place on the card. When members signed up to participate in the swap, we asked them to make up a few random facts about themselves, just for the fun of it.

After I read through these crazy and creative facts, I wanted to be able to read all the fictitious stories on the postcards. Since I don't have a magical superpower to allow me to do this, I thought it would be fun to publish the list of impromptu, made-up facts from our members.

I'm 97, but look 30.
I provide counseling and therapy to the local Were community.
My home is underground, built into the side of a hill, yes, it has a round door.
I have 13 children ages ranging from 0-23, they each have a dire wolf.
It's possible I read too much.

I built a house out of nothing but washi tape and cardboard.

I just became an Aunty for the very first time!! Which basically means my pre-existing condition of being super clucky has progressed to a state of being hyper-maternal-needtomakeallthebabiesrightnow-tivitis!!!

My father was offered 20 cows for me by an African King.
I have ridden an elephant to school.
My childhood fur baby was a lion.

I hate ice cream.
I have never left my native village.
I can open a tin can with my teeth.

I am an ostrich.

Intrepid world traveler, inimitable interviewer of the famous and infamous, politically incorrect poet extraordinaire, and incorrigible singer of sentimental songs!

I worked for NASA and helped paint the letters on the rockets we sent into space until the space shuttle was invented. I quit then because I believed it to be too ugly to be bothered with.

I am the only person in Bristol to have ridden a unicorn.
I was born with a vestigial tail.
My favourite city is Ank Morpork.
I have a fear of Teletubbies.

I'm 34 years old and work as a Home Economics teacher.

Make up? Never go without it - the more the better.

I am so randomly awesome that I cannot think of any random facts about myself. Oh wait... I guess that was a random fact about myself.
Second random fact: It's not easy being me. (Unless one has a sense of humor. :) )
Third random fact: I love to laugh.

I was born in New York City. I lived in Barcelona for 2 years. I will buy a cottage in Cornwall.

I want to be a tree.

I have one blue eye and one red eye (the result of an accident involving Jose Cuervo).
Contrary to popular public belief (and televisual "evidence") Dame Kiri te Kanawa did not sing "Let the Bright Seraphim" at Charles and Diana's wedding. She mimed while I sang from behind a large flower display next to her.
When I become a long-distance lorry driver, my CB handle is going to be "The Porky Yorkie".
I am J-Lo's "booty double".

I'm a 28 year old housewife, with eight children. When my husband and I aren't growing our own organic produce and homeschooling our children, we enjoy traveling - as we are obviously independently wealthy, having won Lotto 649 several years ago.
I am an avid seamstress, and have thought of starting my own clothing line, but have difficulty finding the time to commit.
My children are all perfect, with no behaviour issues, and are kind to each other.
The next holiday my husband and I are planning on taking is to Spain.

I grew up in Teldrassil.
I am the youngest of 8 children (the only girl).
I moved to the capitol city of Darnassus in my twenties to find myself, I ended up shlepping drinks in a local pub, but was fired for not having long enough ears.
I am currently a leather worker moving around worldwide honing my trade.
I am a nomad of sorts and travel everywhere with my pet owl.

I once ate 50 hotdogs in one sitting!
I can bench press 300 pounds while needing to pee!
I can levitate myself if I fart hard enough!
I have an invisible daughter named Peanuthead and an invisible son named Poophead.

I am an astronaut, I speak 7 languages, and make macramé in my free time.

I used to sell stage clothes to rock stars in a little boutique in Haight Ashbury back in the late 60's. Not many people could afford the clothes so the business went under. Grace Slick got me a job working for Playboy as a hairstylist. There I met a guy who raced sailboats. He wanted to take a trip around the world so I joined him. He got drunk and ran off with someone else in Walvis Bay, Nambia. Abandoned, I joined a Pagan missionary group who were reclaiming the native spiritual practices by building stone circles. Life is good in my grass hut. I've gotten used to outhouses and bug spray.

My book club was the inspiration for the A Team.
I once danced with the devil in the pale moonlight.

I was just appointed 2015 Poet Laureate of that space between dreaming and awake.
I'm the proud new owner of The Raven Haven Cirque De Burlesque.
I Recently adopted Poe, distinguished cat of darkness and master of iambic pentameter.
It is a highly publicized fact that I am the most favorite lover of the man in the moon.

I'm a highly energetic person, training to run marathons. I eat mostly Kale, though I will allow myself half an apple on holidays and birthdays.

I live on a pumpkin farm where I spend my days training circus alligators and knitting scarves using the fur from my llama herd. I have the largest North American collection of hotel keys.

I fly a lot (mostly when dreaming). Landing is hopefully supported by the mattress.

I won American idol.
I love Brussels sprouts!

I can communicate telepathically with squirrels.
I have a secret squirrel army poised to take over the East Coast.

Bird phobia.
Love books.
I drink too much coke.
I dye my hair with red henna.
I'm very very tall.

I'm an elf. I have wings and only eat veggies. I love spinach and carrots the most! My favorite animal is cat. I'm small so when I'm too lazy to fly, I'll ride on the back of my best friend, a blonde kitty called Legolas.

I share my personality and my birthday with Joan of Arc as I tend to take up a sword quite easily in the name of freedom.
According to a visit to a psychic, I was brutally killed by a pack of wolves in my previous life.
My totem animal is supposedly the crow of which I often stop to consider my options whenever I hear one caw.
People who cackle scare me. A lot.
I am attracted to redheads---but who isn't?
In high school, I was part of the Boys' Wrestling Team. I fought the principal to allow girls to join the team. Because of my membership, the Boys' Wrestling Team soon changed its name to reflect girls' membership. And I won the gold medal in our first tournament---competing against boys.
All the above are true, random facts about me.

Ah, I love this list! LEP members are so creative and fun. Our swaps are one of the most enjoyable parts of our community, won't you join us?

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